I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
