Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need water and some morals
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
