He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
