Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Damn victory sex feels great
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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