this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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