Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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