I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize