I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
