She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize