she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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