i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
ttyl tear gas
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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