it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
