she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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