Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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