I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
