I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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