White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im holly from the hills drunk
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
