"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
