i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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