Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize