Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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