did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize