he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize