Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
