you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
