The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
