and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize