we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
