call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
