hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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