we're chasing vodka with high fives
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
