no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
