you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
