ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
