U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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