what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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