If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
