Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Randomize
