He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
