yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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