So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
