Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
