He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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