Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
