no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
