my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Operation Purity has been aborted
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
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