I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
