we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
