how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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