Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
