well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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