were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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