Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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