He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
