goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we should paint friendship bongs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize