after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize