do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
