it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I puked a lego.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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